Monday, July 13, 2009


A couple who I'm friends with live their lives in the public domain via facebook. The husband posts over the top smoochy comments to, and about, his wife which make me wonder what the true state of their relationship is - though perhaps I'm being unduly cynical, because away from facebook I think their love and respect for each other is genuine.

Anyway, today they are tootling on about their 18th wedding anniversary.

I find myself unable to respond because every response I think of would be seen in the light of my widowedness. See what you think of the responses which immediately came to mind:

Enjoy every second you have together.

I'm still ahead by 49 weeks.

'91 was a good year to be married, '86 worked better for me.

Had my first miscarriage in '91. Memorable year.

Enjoy the milestone. You never know when the journey will end.


Jealousy's a bitch ain't it?

And once I'd responded here I was able to make a suitably happy response to their facebook celebration. :)


  1. Tee-hee.

    Although I'm sure that what you posted on FB was more appropriate, I like all these very much, especially the one about your being ahead by 49 weeks.

    I'm glad you had this outlet to vent your true reactions. Sometimes it's so hard to be out there among "civilians." We know what the reality is, and social conventions prevent us from talking about it under certain (i.e., most) circumstances.

  2. There's no good way to say it except to say it (at least being able to vent it in a not-as-public forum alleviates some of the bile).

    I totally understand those feelings, the jealousy, the anger at having had my own relationship cut short. They're normal feelings, and valid points. I especially like the first one: enjoy every second you have together. Amen to that.