A tragic accident

I attended Niel's funeral this afternoon, and unbelievably, it was a positive experience. The sermon spoke of God knowing and loving us before we are born, and knowing the number of our days. The story of Jesus calming the storm was read, and the reality of Jesus being with us in times of turmoil when we're being tossed every which way, and being able to bring calm to that situation. I'm not relating it well here, but we were all left with a sense of hope and assurance. There was no judgement of Niel, there was thanksgiving that his light had shone in our lives.

Red eyed, pale faced and drawn, his friends filled row after row of church seats. One boy whose mother died just weeks ago was wracked with sobs. At the end of the service the boy beside him casually put an arm over his shoulders while he did the same with his other arm to the boy on his other side. It was a beautiful non-attention drawing gesture of comfort to the young man who is struggling under a double grief burden.

All who spoke of Niel spoke of his ever present lop sided grin, friendliness and positivity. Niel choosing to end his life was so incongruous with how he lived.

Speaking to another mother after the service she commented that it would be easier if it had just been an accident. My response was that it was an accident. An accident of thought, but an accident none the less.